The Day the Pigs Escaped!

Life is full of many funny/serious/unusual things that happen throughout a human’s life. Have you ever asked a relative a question like, “How did you end up in Connecticut when you were born in New Orleans?” or “What was great aunt Suzie’s brother’s wife’s name? You know, the one that jumped in that pit of rattle snakes by mistake.”  Once a person leaves this earth, their stories will go with them. Unless we can share our stories with one another while we are here, no one will remember all the little adventures that make our lives worth living. My mom is always on the hunt to record any family story she can. After talking to her one day, we decided to exchange our own stories for family record keeping over email. Our efforts have slowly tapered off and we need to start it up again! I just stumbled over this one that I wrote about when I was 7 months pregnant with our first son. I thought it definitely needed to go on the Mommy Mishaps Page! Its in pure story form, so just imagine an old Southern woman with snow-white hair telling you this story while she rocks in a creaky rockin’ chair on a big front porch, sipping a cold glass of sweet tea. Hope you enjoy!

On a brisk November morning in a small town in central Missouri, something was about to go a wry.  On a small bit of land just outside of town, there lived two happy couples in one house. The Bech****s had deep roots in the Missouri community and had a sweet baby boy of about ten months. The Browns were fairly new to the state and were soon to be expecting their first child in about two months. Both couples shared adventures of gardening and animal raising. Some things came easy to them like collecting eggs every morning. Others were more difficult like weeding the never ending garden that, among other things, had too many varieties of tomato.  But both families were happy and enjoyed being together.

The day before, the Bech****s had left to visit extended family out of state and Mr. Brown headed south to Texas to begin a new job and prepare a new home for his wife and soon-to-be-expected child. Mrs. Brown was left in the Missouri home to tend to the animals and day to day business. Special precautions were taken to make sure she didn’t need to lift anything that was of any weight, or strain herself in any way while she was to hold down the fort for the next four days.

The morning of this brisk November day, Mrs. Brown woke up ready to take on the world. She had a lovely breakfast of six scrambled eggs, two pieces of toast, a cup of orange juice, a cup of coffee, and some homemade granola and yogurt with sliced bananas. As she ate, Mrs. Brown thought of her morning chores and also what she would make for lunch. Later, the phone rang as she was dressing so she let it go to the machine (Neither couple had a cell phone. All four adults shared a landline and answering machine). Mr. Buss**, a cousin of the Bech****s, called with the most distressing news. The pigs had escaped and were running down the country highway! Mrs. Brown, quite alarmed but determined to fix the problem, grabbed her running shoes and hustled out the door.

She spotted the monstrous black hogs barreling down the road and she walked swiftly toward them. What would she do when she reached these troublesome pigs? Mrs. Brown had no idea.  But she continued after them just the same.  Half terrified of the wild eyed pigs and half not wanting to cause her very pregnant belly to bounce around out of control, she approached the pigs with caution. She got a long stick to aid her in herding the swine into a corner. This worked somewhat but once cornered, the pigs ran at her! She jumped out of the way as best she could and turned around. She was on the move once again. She grabbed a small bucket of feed and shook it furiously to try to entice the animals to follow her back to their pen. This worked somewhat, but the pigs had so many new things to explore, they quickly lost interest in the feed.  Soon the cavalry finally arrived and Mr. Buss** and a 70 year old neighbor came to Mrs. Brown’s aid. The three humans finally corralled the three pigs into the neighbor’s pen. This is where the swine remained for the next four days until Mr. Bech**** and Mr. Brown came back to bring the pigs home. Mrs. Brown walked down the street every single day to feed and water her re-located future pork chops. Luckily, she didn’t have any other adventures of that nature whilst home alone.
The lesson in this story is to never be too confident in one’s own preparations. Life can change on a dime and you must adapt with it. Whenever you feel quite sorted with all your ducks in a row and you think that nothing could go wrong, the pigs will always get out.

Thanks so much for reading! Check out my other Mommy Mishaps!

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